Cool to be Kind
Hey Lady Queens, Mighty Kings, and everyone in between! If you’ve been following us for a while, you’ll notice that we’ve been talking about competition amongst women and how to navigate it and move into Sisterhood. Sometimes, in order to move towards compassion and away from competition, you’ll have to let go of the desire to be right and make the choice to be kind instead. We know, this can be so tricky — you might want to prove yourself when you feel you’re in the right, but you can unwittingly sabotage yourself. Feeling the need to be right is largely a masculine reaction — it’s a way to assert dominance and take action from a place of ego. But, Lady Queens, it’s time to shift into Queenliness, to come from the most feminine place, which means practicing the most graceful thing you can do in these moments: choose to be kind towards the woman in front of you.
You can do this in a few different ways:
· Listening rather than hearing. Most people hear to respond, instead of genuinely listening to what the person in front of them is saying. Make the choice to listen.
· Hold space for emotions without trying to be a savior. Allow the person to be where they are; honor them and their emotions without trying to change anything. Let them save themselves.
· Acknowledge and appreciate. Show gratitude and appreciate for what they’ve shared with you. It takes bravery for a person to be vulnerable, so be sure to respect and honor their courage, and feel honored that they chose to share with you.
Both of us know we have had moments in the past where we would interrupt our friends in an attempt to perk them up and stop them feeling sorry for themselves. Despite having the best intentions, we later realised we had done them and ourselves a disservice. We found ourselves feeling exhausted, and they felt like it was unacceptable to express icky stuff around us. We’ve also both had times where we were “too busy” to give a conversation the time it deserved. To help make a shift, we asked ourselves, “What would being kind in this scenario look like?”
We also learned that it’s spectacularly better to let go of being right and aim to be happy. Stay in your pleasure zone — there’s no need to be right. And worst case scenario, you can step out of a female conversation if it’s no longer serving both of you. Honestly, sometimes the kindest, most pleasurable thing for both you and the woman in front of you is to just walk away. A good rule to follow is this:
Leave every situation the same or better than how you found it. You have a choice in every interaction — if you choose to stay, decide to add value.
By focusing on honoring and lifting the fabulous things you witness in other women, you encourage Sisterhood. You can create authentic connection by starting in small ways — compliment how someone looks, chat to them about their interests, tell her you love her shoes! This simple yet positive interaction encourages sisterly female energy and allows you both to receive.
Teany: I was at a grocery store in Michigan, and as I pulled up to checkout with my cart, I noticed the young lady working the register had the most gorgeous honey brown eyes, so I decided to pay her a compliment. I looked directly at her with kindness and sincerity and told her so. She thanked me, and her reaction was completely caught off-guard and nervous. So much so she forgot how to work the check-out machine and had to request help. Quite funny and interesting how it’s hard to accept compliments from each other. That’s the power we have in our presence, kindness and honouring of each other.
By nurturing and honoring each other, the quiet yet potent feminine strengths of beauty, creativity, and grace are strengthened. By honoring yourself and the women around you, like in Teany’s story, you get into the habit of opening to connections with all women, making it easier to go deeper and share our sacred knowledge.
Really, Sisterhood starts with you. And, Lady Queens, the time is NOW! Each time we choose kindness over competition, we are strengthening the Sisterhood. Practice embracing your sisters fully. You can build on what you learn in each situation, moving from competition to connection in Sisterhood. And it starts so small, with just a simple compliment, or by choosing to be kind instead of being “right.” How marvellous is that?
Here’s to claiming, embodying, and living in pleasure!
Stay connected, juicy, and playful, and we’ll see you next time.
Love, Savannah and Teany